..

the last poem:
Shiva's dance


i keep using the word "last"
the last time
the last second
the last thought
the last lie
the very last
no the very last, really
no the last after last
no the lastest
a barren echo
and all i know is
it has no meaning
it almost mocks me
my impotent declaration
any strength it once held
now drips out like oil
constant
i stop
and all i see is
sometimes "last" will not exist
i read you my last poems
you didn't know i write
and you liked them
and you laughed
listened
it didn't make them better
it created another poem entirely

do you write poems
Shiva


unrelenting fireworks
of the past present future
all changing
and shifting face
replacing my neurons
my truth is not my truth
it stands as a stranger
my truth is just as true as the word "last"


sometimes i actually feel
like I really am Shiva
dancing
annihilation in one eye
and birth
in the other


i mean
nothing has changed.
apart from
everything that once was, is no longer
polarities shaking hands
they seem amused


and this is where the first summer sunrises
find
me
as unravelled
as i am whole


Shiva
how do you still dance
...

tattoo

This tattoo.
Is incredible.

Tats.
M.

experience, my darling

Okay, I feel like I should write a semi-conclusive post about the experiences I've had of late.
There's so much stuff that I think I'm already starting to forget.
And I don't write this up anywhere.

So, where do we start.


Prince Rama and the birthday of the Cinema "Friendship", yesterday.
And the girls being super.
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive. Thankyou, A.
Make my systems blow.
New friends and people, S. and K. and E. a little.
And going out with K, and V.
RHIZOME.
Mutantants.
Tallinn Music Week in Von Krahl.
And Inga Copeland in Von Krahl - the music music music

Spanish one's truth time hitting the nail
on the head

Dance more
Dance
so much dancing lately

Easter service singing

Skype conference talking.
More safety in my own decisions

Della Reese and my ringtone "Come on a my house".
Best decision ever
ever

And one of the songs K sent me just making me get up, around 1am, and spending 6 minutes upside down. Mostly in downward dog, leg up, and trying to get back to my friend, supported headstand.
Why
no one knows
And Hallelujah emerging.
Last time I listened to that, 2nd of September 2006.
And it came back last night
Like I told myself not to listen to it unless I'm home.

Dying my hair dark
Lifting heavy stuff
Warrior time

Rhizome Rave
And new people, new people

And K and M-L.
Just, YES.
YES
And dancing with A.
The dancing

And whiskey shots and freedom

And my Guru cousin's lectures and seminars.
New insight
And logical insight
Techniques and things to do, how to get rid of the unwanted.
And everything to do with his place, Lilleoru.
Flowervalley

Looking for things to fan my flames.

The greedy kid being not greedy.
Change yourself and the world around you will change.



In conclusion.
The not-so-subtle message:

WELCOME
TO
THE
NEW
AGE

I Give Thanks.
M.


Ps, I bet I'll read this back in some time, and not understand one. single. thing.
Whatever.

And below, my trusty, trusty, trusty, trusty Hamsa.

hamsa

Just saying, thanks for reading.
(I mean, really really thanks for reading.)

Some helping hands. I like the image of open palms and hands showing "no harm".

Show an open hand.
M.

spooky

When it all gets kinda groovy.
M.

today

Today was useful.
I got some stuff sorted, respectfully sent off our Christmas tree, and then ended up and the gym (of course) with E., and our session ended with the saunas and pools. Yay!
So I fly tomorrow. At 1.30pm, my flight leaves for LDN. And so I'm currently packing.
I would really like to squeeze in a mini-session tomorrow morning, just to get my pulse up and gimme energy for the flight. And I really want to pop into this place before the airport as well - they do an awesome selection of nuts and allsorts of like, nuts in yoghurt, and almonds in this and that, and clusters of unicorn dust or something, point is - everything.
Oh, and also! I found this man who offers a moving service, from LDN to either HEL(sinki) or TLN. I contacted him and I think we are gonna strike a sweet deal between the two of us. Yay for this! I mean, "Yay!" is such an understatement. This is like, so sweet if it happens. Fingers crossed, please!

So now I'm sat here, on my bed, watching another James Bond. Some Finnish channel showed James Bond movies really really late on Christmas eve, for years on end. And as my parents had gone to bed and I was so excited about my presents, I'd stay up and watch Bond. And to this day, every time the festive season comes round I feel like watching Bond. And now I'm working my way through them. I've got to "The Spy Who Loved Me" (1977).
I'm gonna dry my hair, handwash some stuff for tomorrow (don't have a tumble-dryer in TLN), then make some tea probs, pack (my packing list is genuinely like, laptop, phone, and jeans), and that's that.

TLN-LDN. ✈
Lots of love.
M.

"the sun and the stars"

do we have time
to go for the sun and the stars
like
do we have any time
at all

should we ever think we have the time
but maybe we do
so let yourself burn
and let others burn too

because whether there's a lot
or a little
point is
time flies

With love.
M.