unity

This is the thing.


Self-unity.
I used to be good at being on my own.
As a child I really loved doing allsorts on my own.
I liked drawing so much.
And I loved writing.
Music, dancing.
I loved doing so much.

And I celebrated what I was.
I celebrated being me.
Not consciously, or I wouldn't have called it that, of course.
Children have this innate way, they just feel joy, at moving and doing.
What is celebration?
It's a sense of two things for me: joy and pride.

And this is the thing.
It's not that I'm not on my own lately - I am, and quite a lot, but there is a huge difference between just spending time on your own and excelling at the Self relationship.
You know, what it feels like to be you.

We need to celebrate our being.
That's what I lack.
I have awareness of what I am or am not, this is solid and detailed knowledge.
But pride or joy?
There is no shadow of celebrating being me.
And I believe this is the single true driving force of those people who really expand, themselves, their life, walk their path, being true to their soul.
Joy!!
Where the crap is my joy in being me?
Therefore there is also no celebration, goddammit.

And that's why some of the truest wonderfulness in my life turns into a chore.
Tasks and unpleasantness and deadlines that don't excite me, etc.
The question is not the tasks themselves, it's all about how I see myself.


Also, currently there's thunder and lighting outside.
This helps EVERYTHING.


And so.
My point is.
Celebrate!
Celebrate you.
You don't need to have a party or the weekend or a birthday or whatever, just have Joy is Yourself, and Pride in what you do.
If you don't feel Joy, look into it - what is keeping you from this?
If you are not Proud of what you do, look into it - there is always something you can do to help yourself. Have courage and change what you need.

Then add these two together and CELEBRATE, you spirit!
Everything else is a waste of time.
And once again - always go inwards.

Rain is BEATING down.
If I wouldn't understand physics, I would think my roof is actually going to come down.
Cool!

Yours truly.
M.

tears

You know what.
I cried the other day, really cried, because everything suddenly felt so artificial, in the world.

I felt this feeling of just how much of what surrounds us is artificial, fake and plastic.

It was just, hideous.
This complete sense of, only holding on to things that are not real, or true.
Just this artificial mass.


I felt how far people have drifted, from what we are.
That we are all just as much a part of this world and the nature as everything else.
We are not superior, or better, or different.
Just souls who want to be free and happy, with fresh air and water and the sky and the soil.
And somehow we have ended up here.

And so I cried.

I want to stay clean with my eating, and everything else, so so much.
I want to feel clean.
And light.

Everything is fine, as long as we still feel.


With love.
Yours truly.
M.

“

invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
don’t swim in the same slough.
invent yourself and then reinvent yourself and
stay out of the clutches of mediocrity.

invent yourself and then reinvent yourself,
change your tone and shape so often that they can never categorize you.

reinvigorate yourself and
accept what is
but only on the terms that you have invented
and reinvented.

be self-taught.

and reinvent your life because you must;
it is your life and
its history
and the present
belong only to
you.

”

—	Charles Bukowski,The Pleasures of the Damned

“Eating a vegetarian diet, walking (exercising) everyday, and meditating is considered radical. Allowing someone to slice your chest open and graft your leg veins in your heart is considered normal and conservative.”

—	Dr Dean Ornish

steady

The power of rocking steady.

I'm getting my bus at 10am tomorrow.

RIGA-TLN.

Next week is going to be so so interesting.

So many challenging things, so many new things. 

But I will tell you more once I reach my laptop.

For now, I'm watching Poirot in bed.

I sat in a rehearsal today, Wagner, which I don't usually like. 

I did today.

I'm mellow and relaxed and balanced, I think.

Have a really good evening.

Yours truly.

M.

tattoo

This tattoo.
Is incredible.

Tats.
M.

witches, unite

So, I went to this lecture a few days ago.
The speaker was a woman who was a proper nature-child growing up, then graduated as a med-student, but decided to go back to her roots. And live in the forests, and let her true being shine trough - being a witch.
She shared some really genuine and healthy ideas about living life as a woman, as a human being, as a being of Nature, as an organism, about love, children, choices, bravery, fears, decisions and doubt.

Since women are glorious creatures (with a vast expanse of potential life where our uterus is), we are all a little witch-y.
And apparently no woman can actually access her full (witchy-)potential without having her life sorted first (in terms of the job she has, the living surroundings, her home). There needs to be balance.

And then there's me.
Moaning, literally moaning, when I know exactly, I know with such painful crystal clarity what I need to do.
I need to get clarity in my life. The same clarity of understanding, I need to apply this to my life.
Now.
And then, and only then, will everything else unravel, and very quickly.
And in the right direction.
My path.
I need to transform this gelatinous mess (also known as my life currently), apply some balls, ruthless clarity and turn this mess into something clear and sharp.

And stop thinking of unnecessary things, when I know exactly what I should be thinking about.
Or rather not thinking about.
And doing.
Doing
doing
doing

Life is not a bunch of theory. Life is practice.
It's a practical thing.
All practice.

So let's cut the theory balls, and let's get practical.

Live
your
life
as
the You-est
You

With love.
M.

fitness

Time for a fitness post!

I started my strength training project, eg. lifting weights.
And so far, in so many words, I feel bad-ass.

And seriously, this is just after 2 sessions.
I'm not going to recite benefits of doing strength training, and of building muscle, because we have Google for that.
All I'm saying is - do it.

Do you even lift?
M.

les femmes

Women, I think you are all magnificent creatures. 

Happy your day to you, women here and there!

Mothers, and sisters, and daughters, and wives, and girlfriends and girl friends, and teachers, and lawyers, and busdrivers, and waitresses, and singers, and dancers and leaders and followers and CEOs and builders and women with lots of children and no children and women who like staying home and those who like going out, women with sweet natures and women with crazy ambitions.
Just
all
women

A tank, a fire and a fountain rolled into one.
Especially now that spring is coming, don't sell yourself short.
If you won't listen to you, no one else will.
If you won't respect you, no one else will.
Spring is such a feminine season so ride it like a pony, or a wave or whatever you fancy, point is, ride it.

Quote of the day, from A.
"Ditto to you wolf woman!
Lol coach of the female universe."

I think you are all awesome, in how much power you all carry, and for just being so HAWT.

Congrats.

Les femmes.M.

Super tacky, but you get the point.



This is what I was actually looking for.

linear lives

I wrote this in August.

The Universe is so giving.
It’s us that choose wrong.
We ask for things we don’t need, or think we want but don’t. Things we might have been conditioned to want, but we want them anyway. And the universe will provide. Of course it will provide, because how could it not. It’s the universe, man.
And then we sulk, and despair, and the rest. But not because fate or whatever is cruel, but because we chose wrong. We asked wrong. Like a fairytale.
We chose wrong.
If you want something enough, you will get it. So how do you know what you actually want?
Or is it like bingo?
You gamble.
Trial and error.

Well this deserves nothing but a big, fat, LOL. Trial and error. That can’t be right, can it?
Hey, mighty universe, I’m just gonna TRY OUT these few things.
Thanks. Wink. 

And now spring is coming.
And I'm home.
And I'm really in a very different place compared to August, which was big big hot mess, let's be honest. Everything just ground to a halt and the mill for some reason stopped turning.
But I am so so balanced where I am now, compared to then.
And for this, I am grateful.

I don't yet know what anything means to be honest, but I'm really learning to like it. And considering the fact I have always been the girl with the plan, I'm proud of that.

Because if I don't yet know what to ask from the Universe, I'm better not going to ask anything at all.

Careful what you wish for.
M.

brutal

How one woman can be such a force of nature, just absolutely beats me.

Björk.
M.

bare

I just don't have the vocabulary to talk about how much I like this image.
I like how dynamic it is, the light and shade and the black-and-white-ness of the image.
It is bare and powerful and naked and cold and explosive in its warmth at the same time.

Great caption, superb shapes.

Bare.
M.

disney

I salute you, people of Disney.

"Paperman".
And the power of dreams, I guess. 
M.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTLySbGoMX0&feature=share

hard as nails

I mean, like, seriously.
Endurance.
Endurance.
Just insane, I mean, what she can do with a skipping rope.
I've started trying, slowly, so I wouldn't actually murder my shins.
Also, how great would it be to have a personal trainer, with. an. eyepatch.

Awesome.
M.

i heart girlpower

DNA.
M.