packing, and emotions

And once again - it's happening!

I'm going somewhere.
Destination this time: STOCKHOLM.




It's been 5 months since my last visit to the Lolcat town and A. and I decided it was simply time for the next leg of this TLN-STHLM romance.
I leave tonight, and back on Monday.

Plans are:
*coffee
*walks
*pastry
*cheeseburger
*movies (ARAGORN)
*sofa

That's it.

So I'm currently just packing, need to shower and get myself into travelling order.
Pisces and I are going to a yoga class before the flight.
It will be such a nice to kick-start an absolutely stress-free weekend.


Not that I've been stressed lately.
It's not stress.
I've just realised how much I repress myself emotionally.
So for the past week I've been concentrating on feeling as much as possible.
This has worked through theatre, a MUSE concert cinema broadcast and some other things.

I'll elaborate on these soon - UH-MAZING.

But in short - overdose.
I thought I'd rather bash myself on the head with feeling-feeling-feeling-feeling-feeling, y'know?
And then do this STHLM break and return calm and ready to deal with emotions on a running daily basis.

Makes sense to me.
And I really hope this actually works in practice as well.

At the moment I'm still too drained from all of it to come to any conclusions or notice a difference.
But I bet it's there, waiting for the storm to calm and then shine like a frikkin' angel.

And so.
I leave you for now.
Off to pack (one pair of jeans, and an array of jumpers), then to curl my hair (just. because) and go to town.
Simple pleasures.
Can't always hang your hat on the hot and heavy.
And when I say this, I do speak from experience.

I tend to get too snobby sometimes for calling time on the analysis.
Analysis is vital.
And I will not back from this.
But sometimes, just curl the hair, and drink the coffee, and wear the pink, and just whatever.
Sometimes just whatever it all, because we don't want you to get tired.


So take a break.


Love and light.
Yours truly.
M.

..

Hey, kids!
It's mee.

So, for starters, here's my packing list for HK, written by A.

Neil's packing list for Neverland.

Underpanties

Hot shit bikini

Trainers and hiking shizzle

Shorts (2?)

Daytime lol tops (Scott Disick better be coming)

Family dinner clothes, playsuit is fine for this or whatevs but you know what this entails. 

OUT OUT FUN FUN. Shorts and top are very acceptable. 

Flip flops or some kind of daytime shoe…flip flops are best choice

Heeeeeels!

Something slightly warm for restaurants, cardigan or jacket or something

All the make up things

I'll bring my crimpers

Straightener for CURLY FUN?

PJS and maybe leggings for comfort evening

Sunglasses

Errr

Supremely comfortable things to travel in

Firstly, I love this list. Huge amounts.
This is what tomorrow and Tuesday will hold for me. Getting all these things picked out, washed, dried, and placed inside a suitcase.
Nice and neat.
Wednesday will be my first ever, proper connecting flight.
9.30pm TLN-HEL
11.40pm HEL-HK

Life currently.
Is odd.
I don't talk about these periods very well (I don't talk about many things well, maybe that's why I like writing), so I ask for your apologies in advance.
The truth is, I've let myself down.
I allow myself to fall into these very destructive patterns, and only realise once it's slightly too late.

There are so many good things around me right now, and I should spend every day being grateful for them, as opposed to letting these things go unnoticed.

I've got so many opportunities that just wait for me to work at them and make them happen.
I'll just give myself some credit, because these instances have got shorter, which is divine.
They used to take whole chunks out of my life.

Just kind of, gone. Written off.
But I've done the work, or I guess I'm trying to do the work, so it's getting better as we go.

I don't want to not write.
I don't want to not focus.
I don't want to shut down.

I don't want to become distance.

And for the sake of these things, I work, and I learn.

Lately I'm feeling so many things, I'd like to somehow keep track.
Not necessarily of each and every one, but feel a bit more, detached I guess.
Otherwise it's like, I'm dragged along behind them.


Here's a photo from this 2nd hand sale yesterday.
I found the Perfect Parka for 4 euros.
And I got this awesome ring for 80 cents, and 2 Christmas Surprise jumpers for me and A.

Yours truly.
M.

Can we also just appreciate the fact that when I took this photo for A. to show her my parka, I had slept 4 hours, by photography time at roughly 1pm, I'd had this make-up on for 16hours.

Sunday

Today has been very calm.
Woke up, had some breakfast and went to help dad with building a fence.
Pictures to follow.
And now I'm taking some nap-time, then packing my bags and going to gig number 15.

But for now, some visuals.

With love.
M.

shine

Good morning, everyone!

It's breakfast time for me, and then packing all my stuff, ready to hit the road once more.
Gig-time tonight, and then staying South of the Estonian equator for 3 days.
Which will be lush!
Latenight swimming is my hands-down favourite thing to do after a concert.

I really hope you're having the most amazing Wednesday.
It's got the potential - so why not?

Sending you all loads and loads and loads of love and positive vibez.

Project love. Like Rachel Brathen says, everydamnday.

Happy mid-week.
M.



Packing gear.

This song is incredibly beautiful.
Rudimental and Becky Hill.
Give it a listen.

happy packing

New cider flavour - Peach Melba - with frozen raspberries.

It's official - I'm on holiday.

Holiday.
M.

this is f*cking awesome

"I'm wearing your Grandad's clothes,
and I look incredible."

Late-night packing beats, guys and dolls.

Don't be fooled by the beginning. This is definitely a huge beat.
And also - what Alessandra has got to do with any of this, beats me.

PS
Once you've hopefully listened to the remix version which I think is better, please please read this.
Brillliannttttt!
http://www.gq.com/entertainment/tv/blogs/the-stream/2012/10/the-macklemore-bible-of-thrift-store-shopping.html

So fine.
M.

kardashians

Last night was hard.
I don't even know why but I just got so frustrated, with the endless packing (seems endless), and not having a date.
This is so boring, for everyone. Truly, truly boring.

SO.
New day, new stuff.
And for now I'm letting the Kardashian sisters cheer me up.
I don't like reality-TV really, it's never been my thing. And from what I knew about Kim Kardashian was like, just annoying. Void, and annoying.
But then, I don't even know how or why I started watching Keeping up with the Kardashians, and turns out they're good people. The other girls work hard, and their step-dad is a good man.
The eldest sister, Kourtney, has 2 kids with Scott Disick. Who I think is great. He's gone through some rough rough times, but it's so clear that those two love each other to the Moon and back.

And also, Kourtney, Khloe and Scott doing the rain dance, cause they're bored, is pretty great.

Cheer up Monday.
M.

dangle

I used to do this all the time in our old house.
Only I wasn't as high up as she was.
My room was on the 1st floor, or those who don't follow the UK floor system - that would be the 2nd floor.
And my window faced our neighbours apple-trees which were so nice, whatever the season. And I would just sit there, dangle my legs and read.
Or just sit there and stare at the sky, daytime or nighttime.
One time, when I had just discovered Bob Marley, courtesy of my first-love, I sat exactly like this and listened to "No woman, no cry" 46 times. Or was it 42. Either of these digits.

So yes, I am a huge fan of this. Huge fan.

(I'm packing.)

Dangle more.
M.

packing mess №2

And it continues!
The list I wrote yesterday has absolutely not been fulfilled.
However, I realised that late-brunch and watching Dexter in my room with A. was much more pleasing. Besides, it was snowing. Okay, none of the snow stuck, but slush crap falling down from the heavens is not an ideal circumstance for being useful.
Sounds pathetic, having just returned from Tallinn, but hey, whatever.

So now A's gone to town, and I'm back to the packing mess!
The clothes are getting it hardcore today.
There's a YES-pile, a Give-to-someone-else-pile and then the "project"-pile, stuff I need to do something with, alter and so forth.
Energy FM, my trusty trusty friend, is blaring tunes into my ears and so it goes!
Nicki Minaj just finished telling me "starships were meant to fly".
Thanks.

I've also managed to get some boxes today from our local shop, on our street.
We kinda know the guys, you know, popping in and out, saying hi, so they were super-super friendly, and I got all my boxes! And they said they were sad I was leaving London, and the street.

And also, I went on the Nike website today and to my pleasant suprise found the January clearance waiting, longing for me..
Oh, yes.
So I found this pair, picture below. Like -30% and apparently, really really lightweight, perfect for hitting 'dem miles.

A's back now, and I'm packing, still.
Classic FM is playing.

I was thinking you know, that I need to take it quite easy, with this packing, and moving.
I'm nearly done. My clothes are in like, 4 boxes. And I mean, this is going quickly. I sorted most of my stuff in December, so there isn't that much to sort, per se.
And I think I thought I have much much more stuff than I do.
So I now need to calm down, and take more time with this.
Pack a bit, and then pack some more.
Not do this quickly.
I'm not in a rush, I'm not in a hurry.
I'll take my time saying goodbye, and untying all the ribbons, solving all the knots.
And it will be great.

Balance, and boxes.
M.

packing mess

I
will
run
tomorrow

I need to clear my head.
It feels a little like, all the stuff I'm throwing out I'm throwing into my brain. I need some clarity, air and focus so tomorrow I'm taking a physical break from all this stuff-based nonsense.
I still need to go to Nike World and get some babies for myself, so tomorrow I'm just gonna borrow J's trainers (woooo yay!!). They are pink. Bonus.

Also, I didn't have enough food in the house today, and I can really feel the lack of snacks today - I'm hungry. But having said this, I really like that I don't concentrate on "eating too much" at all, but rather making sure that I stay clear of "eating too little". Yay.

So.
List for tomorrow.
Wake-up.
Breakfast.
Go hunt for boxes. Seriously. A serious hunt.
Then try on lots of clothes, all clothes, every item, of clothing, ever, and shoes.
And then sort them into Yes-No-Maybe piles, and then Yes-No.
Sorting, packing day.
Tomorrow is time to work a little harder.

For now, it's Dancing on Ice, which I love to literal madness.
And some Lindt dark chocolate with almonds and orange bits.
And then I'll make some tea, and watch some Bond.
And a photo of AEM's snack, and one of my packing mess.

AJ says "hi".

Skate-skate-skate.
M.

morning

Good Sunday morning-ish time, ladies and gentlemen, and all your fabulous pets and whoever!

So today I'm planning to make up on the packing scale for yesterdays fun-day. Not that today won't be a fun-day, I'm sure it will, just home-fun.
A's gone into town to see people, J. is getting ready for lunch with parents, so it's just me with my porridge and Vit C drink, and Classic FM.

London's busy, you know.
There's just a time and place for everything, and a time for someone to enjoy whatever. Bottomline - things vary. Millions and millions of variables in every little thing we do, all the time.
And my time here is done. I'm so glad, again, that I've had the balls to look this fact in the face and act on it. So many people never tire of London, so so many people never tire of the place where they live, but also, so so many people are just too convenient to look the fact in the face that there is another place where they would be much, much happier. What this place is for me is yet unknown. I'm just going to Tallinn to recharge, breathe in, breathe out, anchor for a while, and then figure out where and why I'm going.
All in good time.

For now, I must make a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg list of people, and places, and sights, and sounds, and actual things I want to take with me from London.
September 2006, this was a long time ago.

But for now, have a lovely morning, or if you're in a different timezone ahead of me then have a lovely afternoon, or if you're in a timezone behind me, I hope you're still sleeping.

Packing-mania.
M.

(blank sheet)

LDN

Yesterday was spent under the flag of getting here and then sitting. Quite literally, sitting.
I did start my packing - woo, look at me, not procrastinating! I give myself a point.

Today AEM and I went into town to meet one of his friends. Had some lunch, and then walked about for a bit, ending up in the Ice-cream parlour at Harrods. Yes, please. Had 2 scoops of ice-cream (can I just say, I LOVE ICE-CREAM) - one was orange-carrot-lemon (ish? it was delicious anyway) and chocolate and cookies. Yes, please x 10000000
Now I'm home cooking, and then some more packing.
I started making my "Goodbye, London" list today. You know, I was thinking about it the other day. That it was like not so long ago when I posted about thinking of moving and now it's actually happening. And I can't really believe it.
I mean, I'm very excited because this is so the right thing for me right now. Having said this, I'm so scared. I shall get over it, and embrace the excitement. And rinse this month dryyyyyyyy

And this is just soooo fitting with January being for "JUST DO IT". (More about this later)

All my love.
M.

today

Today was useful.
I got some stuff sorted, respectfully sent off our Christmas tree, and then ended up and the gym (of course) with E., and our session ended with the saunas and pools. Yay!
So I fly tomorrow. At 1.30pm, my flight leaves for LDN. And so I'm currently packing.
I would really like to squeeze in a mini-session tomorrow morning, just to get my pulse up and gimme energy for the flight. And I really want to pop into this place before the airport as well - they do an awesome selection of nuts and allsorts of like, nuts in yoghurt, and almonds in this and that, and clusters of unicorn dust or something, point is - everything.
Oh, and also! I found this man who offers a moving service, from LDN to either HEL(sinki) or TLN. I contacted him and I think we are gonna strike a sweet deal between the two of us. Yay for this! I mean, "Yay!" is such an understatement. This is like, so sweet if it happens. Fingers crossed, please!

So now I'm sat here, on my bed, watching another James Bond. Some Finnish channel showed James Bond movies really really late on Christmas eve, for years on end. And as my parents had gone to bed and I was so excited about my presents, I'd stay up and watch Bond. And to this day, every time the festive season comes round I feel like watching Bond. And now I'm working my way through them. I've got to "The Spy Who Loved Me" (1977).
I'm gonna dry my hair, handwash some stuff for tomorrow (don't have a tumble-dryer in TLN), then make some tea probs, pack (my packing list is genuinely like, laptop, phone, and jeans), and that's that.

TLN-LDN. ✈
Lots of love.
M.

STOCKHOLM

Hej.
✈
1 day and we're up and away.


Lolcats on tour. AGAIN.

AGAIN.

God, this pleases me. So much.


Today, talking to A, I made an accidental poem.

"And then go out
And dance
And stare at hair
Everywhere"

It's not very deep, and not very meaningful, but it sure captures something special.

Kõike tahame, M.

packing

Packing.

Packing, M.
(Actually, Björk is keeping me company.
But still. Packing.

TLN-LDN✈)