..

the last poem:
Shiva's dance


i keep using the word "last"
the last time
the last second
the last thought
the last lie
the very last
no the very last, really
no the last after last
no the lastest
a barren echo
and all i know is
it has no meaning
it almost mocks me
my impotent declaration
any strength it once held
now drips out like oil
constant
i stop
and all i see is
sometimes "last" will not exist
i read you my last poems
you didn't know i write
and you liked them
and you laughed
listened
it didn't make them better
it created another poem entirely

do you write poems
Shiva


unrelenting fireworks
of the past present future
all changing
and shifting face
replacing my neurons
my truth is not my truth
it stands as a stranger
my truth is just as true as the word "last"


sometimes i actually feel
like I really am Shiva
dancing
annihilation in one eye
and birth
in the other


i mean
nothing has changed.
apart from
everything that once was, is no longer
polarities shaking hands
they seem amused


and this is where the first summer sunrises
find
me
as unravelled
as i am whole


Shiva
how do you still dance
...

night

Hey, guys!

I'm still up and it's nearly 3:30.

Mum came back from seeing Santa with my nephew and was giving me all the Lapland news.

It's nearly time for my next tour, we kick off on Friday and have 6 dates.

We're not rehearsing in the capital so tomorrow I leave for Tartu, which is in southern Estonia.

We have a pianist rehearsal tomorrow and then two orchestra rehearsals on Thursday. So sweet!

I haven't done anything with a big orchestra in so long, so I'm super psyched for this.

It's got some tricky bits in the program but let's do it!!

Tomorrow before we leave for Tartu, I need to pack, print all the lyrics, stick some crap in the washing machine, ring my hair dresser and eat lots of pasta, just for banter really.

For now, I'm trying to get sleepy.

Adrenaline overhaul.

Peace and love, darlings.

Be safe.

Yours truly.

M.

songs

Whatever doors I have in my heart and soul, this song opens them, steps in and has a slow dance.
All by itself.
In the moonlight.
Enjoying and sensing the movement.
Surrendering to hope, and the faith, and the love.

Surrendering to its own rhythm and time.
And making love through seeing love, above and below.

Why is surrendering so hard?

This song belongs at a wedding, with candles in jars, and people who care.
And all the I-can't-even.

Yours truly.
M, and Neil Young.

Iggy

I absolutely love this video, and the beat.
And Iggy in general.

I know some people have had an issue with her wearing a Sari and whatever, but I think she uses the Indian atmosphere really respectfully, letting it shine.
This joyous, party atmosphere.
Of just dance, dance.
It really is like a Bollywood party scene, the ones that come at the end of a movie, where the boy and the girl make up, or something is solved, or you know, along these lines.

And trust me - I come at this having watched a fair share of Bollywood in my life.

BOUNCE.
M.

move

The pretty one said, something along the lines of, this is what our bodies really want to do when we meet that someone special.
This video is just beautiful.
And Sigur Ros melts my soul.
Every time.

Enjoy.
What love is like.

Yours truly.
M.

all in

All Stephanie.
Adidas.

This is so self-explanatory.

dance
dance
dance
dance

With love.
M.

in your nature

Baby, it's in your nature
Just let me liberate you

Let's have fun, kids.
M.

this song

Happy Sunday, guys!

With love.
M.

prince rama

This is insane(-ly good).

New age glitter madness from Brooklyn.
I mean, just listen to this song.
This makes me want to dance on a meadow, naked and glittery.
With horses, at dawn.
And I don't know.
Flowers in my hair.

And I mean, really do that.
Really do that.

Prince Rama - "So Destroyed".

DANCE YOUR SOUL OUT.
M.

gypsy

I think in my heart I'm just a massive gypsy who is meant to sing and dance, drink wine, and travel the world.
This would also make sense in terms of my hatred for moving and getting settled in places. Travelling and roaming and adventuring, fine. So, so fine.
So I'm going to embrace my inner gypsy now, somehow.
I'll keep you posted, of course, as ever.

Run towards freedom as opposed to chasing all the restrictions and structures. And whatever, "proper" social conduct. Life's too short and the world's too colourful to be shoving yourself into the wrong shapes.

And besides, Maria is quite a good gypsy name as well, I think.

Cause I mean, why not, you know?
M.

(And I just really like Shakira.)

nsync

Here's a humorous reminder of the days gone by.
I mean, the first 30 seconds provides some unrivaled dance moves.

I really recommend watching this for the benefits of actual banter.

Long live boy bands, and their dance moves.

(Having said this, I did spend about 30 minutes today listening to Five, and it was actually good.)

Nsync, 1998.
M.

this tree

Under this tree everything would be solved. 

Find yourself a tree.
M.

kardashians

Last night was hard.
I don't even know why but I just got so frustrated, with the endless packing (seems endless), and not having a date.
This is so boring, for everyone. Truly, truly boring.

SO.
New day, new stuff.
And for now I'm letting the Kardashian sisters cheer me up.
I don't like reality-TV really, it's never been my thing. And from what I knew about Kim Kardashian was like, just annoying. Void, and annoying.
But then, I don't even know how or why I started watching Keeping up with the Kardashians, and turns out they're good people. The other girls work hard, and their step-dad is a good man.
The eldest sister, Kourtney, has 2 kids with Scott Disick. Who I think is great. He's gone through some rough rough times, but it's so clear that those two love each other to the Moon and back.

And also, Kourtney, Khloe and Scott doing the rain dance, cause they're bored, is pretty great.

Cheer up Monday.
M.

nifty fifty's

1950s.
The beat of my day.

A handy album called 1000 hits from the '50s.

I just want to dance, y'know.
M.


It had to be you - Dinah Shore (which is the best version of this song. The. best.)
And Venus - Frankie Avalon

7

CHALLENGE WEEK.

So me and J. (the housemate) have decided to turn this week into CHALLENGE WEEK.

We were zumba-ing on the Wii last night - and I mean, the tragedy had to be witnessed. I was genuinely tasting my lungs and J. was exclaiming to the big Jesus Christ. It was hi-lol-ri-ous.
Sweat was poured, dancing was done, water was drunk.

So now we've decided to have a "Challenge Week" and zumba every day. To become less tragic.

PS. Anyone who starts to diss zumba as a form of working out has never clearly either a) done it or b) has done it, but didn't DO it. ya know?

Zumba, WOO.
M.

D.

D is for Drama. Always. But not that kind.
D is for Dynamics.
And Duos.

D is for Dogs. (Heaven knows why. I don't even like dogs. Maybe I do?)

D IS FOR DANCING
D IS FOR DANCING
D IS FOR DANCING
D IS FOR DANCING

D is for Dinosaurs.
D is for Debussy.
And D is for Daffodils.

D is for Dreams.
D is for DREEEEEAAAAAAAAMS.

D is for Dames.
D is for Discipline.
D is for Don Pasquale.
D is for Danger.
D is for Druids.

D is for DRESSES

D is for Doubles
D is for Dripping

D IS FOR DIPLOMACY

D is for Dangling
And the word "Dandy"

D is for Delegation.
And for Dungeons.
D is for DRACULA
And D is for Digging
And D is for Divine
And D is for Divinity
And D is for Dolce
D is for Duvets
D is for Draining
D is for Darts
And D is for Достое́вский

D is for Dilligence
And D is for DESTRUCTION
D is for Delivering
D is for Discord
And Dissonance

D is for DUALITY
And D is for Dying.
D is for Difference
D is for Delusions

D is for Drastic


D is for DAYS
D is for DOORS

D IS FOR DESIRE
(how did i forget this?)

D is for Dinners
And Dinnerparties.

D is absolutely for Discoveries!
D is for Doing.

D is for DRAGONS


D is for Dignity.

D is for Dessay.


D is for.M.