departure

Bye-bye, Tallinn!


Every departure is an adventure.

With love.
M.

need

"What do I need?"

Aaaaannnndddd we're back to that one.

My favourite question of all, the lack of which I realised last year?
That this wasn't in my vocabulary.

What do I want - oh, yes.
What do I crave - absolutely.
Or another favourite, what do other people need from me? Or need me to be?
Great.

But what do I need?
Apparently not.

So the age of What Does Maria Need is about to start.
I mean I swear I'll plaster this on my face or something.

What do you NEED.
M.


This was taken around 6.20AM, last Sunday morning, as I was walking home from this new place in Tallinn called Moment.
That night was circus.
That night was what I needed.

face

I should honestly tattoo this on my face.

Learning.
M.

the yes-cat

I think the Yes-cat just agrees with everything.
But like, in a fun way.
Like, look at his face.
Any idea you'll throw at him, he will do it and love it.
Adventure-cat.
Now THIS is the face of adventure-cat!

I wanna be the Yes-cat.
M.

morning

Good Sunday morning-ish time, ladies and gentlemen, and all your fabulous pets and whoever!

So today I'm planning to make up on the packing scale for yesterdays fun-day. Not that today won't be a fun-day, I'm sure it will, just home-fun.
A's gone into town to see people, J. is getting ready for lunch with parents, so it's just me with my porridge and Vit C drink, and Classic FM.

London's busy, you know.
There's just a time and place for everything, and a time for someone to enjoy whatever. Bottomline - things vary. Millions and millions of variables in every little thing we do, all the time.
And my time here is done. I'm so glad, again, that I've had the balls to look this fact in the face and act on it. So many people never tire of London, so so many people never tire of the place where they live, but also, so so many people are just too convenient to look the fact in the face that there is another place where they would be much, much happier. What this place is for me is yet unknown. I'm just going to Tallinn to recharge, breathe in, breathe out, anchor for a while, and then figure out where and why I'm going.
All in good time.

For now, I must make a loooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggg list of people, and places, and sights, and sounds, and actual things I want to take with me from London.
September 2006, this was a long time ago.

But for now, have a lovely morning, or if you're in a different timezone ahead of me then have a lovely afternoon, or if you're in a timezone behind me, I hope you're still sleeping.

Packing-mania.
M.

(blank sheet)

saturday night

So.

We went out last night.
I'd spent the whole day in town (surprise-surprise) so I was a little knacked.
So what ended up happening was this -

No, actually, I thought that if I'd do this to my face I'd actually get up and get ready.
Which I did.

People were coming round - girls, to get ready at ours - and I was just sat there, top of the stairs, with an eyeliner pencil in my hand, just seeing what I can do.
I was quite pleased.
Then I put on a coat, backwards, and starting waltzing with AJ. She said: "I suddenly had the urge to kiss you." With my face, LIKE. THAT?
So it was an interesting beginning to a Saturday night.
The rest of it wasn't nearly as interesting.

But there.
Make-up.
M.

silk

skin like silk
face like glass

connections
joining
turning right
and turning wrong

like a massive web
or like a map rather
of things
here and there


and the funny thing is
it's all the same matter